pleasantly tragic satisfation, anyone?

can we please take a moment to reflect on the complete loveliness of a well formed bruise? seriously, they're fun to show off and impress people with and even the ones that look sick, in all senses of the word, are just so cool. sometimes you even get weird shapes and blotches to look at. ready...go!

...reflecting...so great...

ok, good job everyone. now, on to the nitty gritty. am i the only one who has those moments/days when you just want to cry? and no, i don't mean "i am emo and slit my wrists. pity me!" cry. don't get confused now. i mean when you just want to feel something so strongly that you at least feel vaguely close to tears. i must admit that i'm one of those girls who just doesn't really cry about much, so don't hold your breath waiting to see it.
maybe what i really want is just a dramatic change from that monotonous everyday thing i like to call life. i am, after all, a theatre kid! don't you dare challenge my spelling of the word "theatre". you will be wrong and you will lose. my point is that i love to feel my emotions fully, and i think that sadness, longing and all those other emotions associated with crying are among the strongest and most easily recognizable/produced.

so if you will all excuse me, let the tragedies begin!

Reading...

...is not something that i'm constantly doing, but when i do read i sort of get obsessed. having just finished a good series of books, i'm beginning to realize that the way i read is probably not very healthy overall. i can't allow myself to start any book or series until i'm sure that i have a large block of time that i can give up, because once i start it's pretty close to impossible for me to stop until i finish the story. i just have to know what happens! i'll stay up all night without any effort, forgo most food, and basically shut out the entire non-fictional world. fortunately for me i had a homework-free week to work with. upon emerging from my room this morning after finishing my book, my roommates all told me they hadn't seen me at all this week and hoped i was finally returning to them. i hadn't realized how long it had been or that they had noticed.

i can handle all of that. what i have trouble with is returning back to reality and leaving behind the world i had inhabited and grown to deeply care about for hours on end at least. if you haven't figured it out, i get really involved in the books i read. needless to say, a good summary is never enough to pacify me. i love the world that is created in my mind and the characters in it, and i wish more than anything that it was real and that i could share in their adventures. unfortunately, reading about them is all i can do, and it's just plain unfair when they abruptly end, abandoning me to my own average life. i'm at that point right now. i find myself thinking of everything i'm doing with my life and wondering "why". what's the point of going to school and work? it's not as awesome as that world i just stepped out of. it felt so good being a part of that other amazing world of the written word, and now i'm like a lost and forlorn little child who's been taken from the best place ever and plopped in unfamiliar and much less desirable circumstances, confused and unsure of what to do with herself. maybe i should go make some chow. food always makes me feel a little better.